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  • Back East Palate Mallet

    Back East Palate Mallet

    The local beer purveyor pointed me toward this.  He said it was very popular and flying off the shelves, and mentioned Heady Topper as a beer it was comparable to (at least in popularity).  Most importantly, it was a 4 pack of cans for around 12 bucks, which I thought was pretty reasonable.  The can says

    Palate Mallet is our American Double IPA.  It’s forged with a solid, yet dry malt foundation, and smacked with four types of brash American hops.  The beer is brewed to hammer your palate with plenty of hoppy goodness.

    The aromas is bready malt with some hops in the background.  Some spices are detectable.  The taste is epic…I can’t believe it is a double IPA.  It is dry, but not too dry.  It is hoppy, but not that hoppy for a DIPA.  It’s the goldilocks porridge of DIPA.  Clocking in at 8.60% ABV, it’s hard to believe this is what it is.  Also tried it with some cheddar cheese, and the dry hop flavor complemented it so well.  Also tried it at a tailgate with peppermint schnapps and it was the worst decision of my life!  But that was probably pretty obvious.  I would call this beer sessionalable, with a BUCTDIOS of 4.0.  Safe to say though, if you have 4 of these quick, you may be on the floor if you are a woman or small manchild.  It’s light and refreshing for what it is.

     

    Went back 2 days later, and it was all gone; I wasn’t surprised.

  • The Wild Beer Iduna Cru

    The Wild Beer Iduna Cru

    The Wild Beer Company

    Iduna Cru

    Ale brewed with Apple Juice (bubbles + Apples + Wild Yeast)

    Cron and I love ciders! We were extremely excited to try this beer apple juice hybrid with substantial amounts of alcohol, 9%! We expected a well balanced blend of sweetness to be countered by the full flavor of hops to make an extremly drinkable fruity beer. However we were disappointed when we took our first sips. Our disappointment could not be blamed on anyone but ourselves because we failed to read the description put out by the Wild Beer Brewing Company: it is surprisingly accurate

    “Named after ancient Greek goddess of beer, this is an equally divine Belgian-style saison with a copious amount of New Zealand hops, freshly harvested Somerset apple juice and wild yeast added to the mix. However, we like to take things just that bit further (it’s the Wild way!) — once bottled the beer undergoes a secondary fermentation with champagne yeast, giving it a brisk spritziness on the tongue. Serve chilled in a champagne flute to allow the bouquet of playfully aromatic notes to be fully appreciated. Take a sip to enjoy a further cascade of striking and sensuous flavors alongside the carefree champagne-like spritziness. The long, dry finish is both refreshing and complex.” ~ The Wild Beer Co.

    Smells Like – It’s going to be sour……soapy, wheaty, like a bushel of apples

    First taste – Not as sour as expected, but the sourness is hiding in the background.  Not in a good way.  Held it in his mouth and it stayed, very strong at first then much smoother in the the end.  The apple was not prominent, but there was a very strong yeast taste.  I’m really disappointed by the lack of apple flavor.  And now, I don’t really want to drink it…..glad that we split one bottle.  The idea really intruiged us but the execution was a fail of the most epic proportions.

  • Two Roads Workers Comp Saison

    Two Roads Workers Comp Saison

    After a long week I went to the local Stop n Shop in the midst of a small Spring snowstorm to pick up some liquid refreshment for my Friday night at home. Surprisingly, there weren’t many people there freaking out and stocking up on milk and eggs.  I guess when it is snowing in late March, people have finally had enough with their irrational weather freak outs.  I can’t wait until everyone brings out the short shorts when it it is barely 50 (Fahrenheit, in case you’re the one Canadian/Euro centric celsius using freak reading this).  Anyway.  I had to pick a beer, because what else can I do on a snowy Friday night?  The only local choice was Two Roads brewery, which is a company I actually really like and visit frequently.  But it was my only choice, and this is America, so I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it.  I grabbed their Workers Comp Saison off the shelf, a farmhouse ale weighing in at a light 4.8% ABV.

    Brought this baby home and got straight to it. took a sip and Wow!  All I can think is one thing:  this tastes exactly how Two Roads Brewery smells.  It is an amazing smell…..heavy raw hoppy scent: like they took a barrel of hops and just ground them together completely dry to let out the aromatics.  Upon further tasting investigation, it seems yeasty too;  but light at the same time. I’m so confused, like those two weeks I thought I was a lesbian freshman year.

    Ironically, I had tried this beer fresh out of the tap in the brewery’s tap room and wasn’t particularly impressed.  In my previous encounter, there was nothing notable whatsoever.  After the bottle at home though, I’m considering putting this in my top 10 because it is that good.  The weirdest part is only one thing changed: the atmosphere.  I think the fact that this literally tastes like the brewery at home brought incredible, euphoric thoughts to my mind of craft beer goodness.  At the brewery itself, the whole place already smelled like this, so the subtleties of the beer were not allowed to shine.  Oh, the humanity.

    While sitting there drowning away my Friday night sorrows, my girlfriend asked me what a saison was.  After running a beer blog you’d think I would be able to answer that question pretty quickly.  All I could think at first was…..uhhhh……. Apparently, saison is a very broad term! When I drank them in the past they were typically very strong or funky, has a distinct bottle conditioned, sedimenty taste.  This beer barely fits that category of things I assumed always to be true.  I do admit it has a slight yeasty funk, but there is so much great hop aroma in there that is somehow not bitter at all; it is MUCH more balanced than a beer drinker may think when seeing the saison label.

    I suppose next time I’m at the brewery I’ll try it fresh again.  But I’m not sure if it even makes sense to bother.  I can bring the brewery experience right to my living room with this bottle of amazingness. Shut up spell check! That is definitely a word now.

     

    BUCTDIOS: 4.0

  • Boulder Shake Chocolate Porter

    Boulder Shake Chocolate Porter

    I was at my local bar and a very specific beer caught my friend’s eye as she was perusing the 50+ taps of micro brews; a chocolate shake beer. She quickly ordered one for herself and came back to our table with it like a proud mama duck. She takes a sip and says “WAIT.. IT’S AN EGG CREAM!” In case you don’t know what an egg cream is because you’re not a 1950’s soda jerk and think it may actually involve egg let me be your Craig David and fill you in (you know… like his song. still no one? Okay… nothing like kicking things off with a joke with an insanely narrow scope; the kid’s still got it!). So; an egg cream is chocolate milk with seltzer added to it so it’s bubbly. It’s better than it sounds too, I love a good egg cream. Sidebar: let’s bring back old school soda shops. Everything else vintage is in. I can picture them in Williamsburg now…..But let’s add booze to that equation; that makes everything better; except maybe especially family reunions.  Anyway, I took it from her hands real quick citing “research purposes” for ABR and psyched myself up for great tastes. My hopes were set pretty high knowing it has egg cream qualities, and it did not disappoint one bit.

    Boulder Beer (Boulder, CO)

    ABV: 5.9%

    BUCTDIOS# 5

    The look of Boulder Shake Chocolate Porter is similar to any beer you would find on a nitro tap. Creamy, white head and a rich full chocolate hued body. The smell is like that of a nice, deep cocoa and vanilla flavors. Like what you would smell if you ordered a chocolate milkshake with like a little dark chocolate in there. I might have drooled but that’s neither here nor there… it’s time to drink!

    A choir of angels began to echo the most beautiful songs i have ever heard (wait, no. that was just my friends singing along to that foster the people song); but I’m at least 90% sure that time did stand still while I drank it. It was truly excellent. All those hail mary’s I said for my last confession must have worked; God sent his forgiveness message in a keg. Maybe this beer is one of his “8th day” specials; you know… like cheese fries, buffalo wings, everything bagels, and pizza. It really does taste similar to an egg cream, but if the base was a porter or stout instead of seltzer and milk. Rich chocolate, light carbonation, and a smooth mouthfeel. It’s nothing short of a beautiful beer that you can drink until you feel physically ill; and I highly recommend doing just that.

  • Krusovice Imperial Lager Review

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    I went to one of my very favorite places in my area a few weeks ago before it was this cold, icy hell outside;  Astoria’s very own Czech beer garden, the Bohemian Hall. It’s a great place to hang with friends at long picnic tables, eat some smoked meats and most importantly; drink your faces off of your face.

    I started my night by eye balling the taps for a beer I never had before and I found one; a Czech beer called Krusovice Imperial Lager.  Coming in at 5%, it is brewed by Královský Pivovar Krušovice a.s., Czech Republic.

    I’m not one to prepare for drinking by googling first, it’s beer and it’s past 5pm on Friday; so let’s just do this thing already. It came in a mug fit for Czech royalty and had a lovely golden hue to match (Fun fact: this beer was originally brewed for An emperor and features the imperial royal crown of Austria. Also, 80% of fun facts are not actually fun). I take a sip and feel completely underwhelmed. I got tricked big time. It has a taste that is pretty boring, that common European taste with that slight skunk kick at the back end of the finish. Actually, it tastes a lot like St. Pauli’s Girl or Heineken. Like way too much… like if you’re a 40 year old man and want to feel fancy without missing your shitty polo tucked into your cargo shorts; drink this beer (get it? Heineken is the official beer of boring dads). I was NOT feeling this at all though.  Also, I’m not clear exactly what the rules are for putting “Imperial” in your beer name, but I’m fairly certain a 5% lager is not “imperial” in any way.

    I kept drinking, praying that it would change; not too much unlike that time you fell hard for the “bad boy” your father would never approve of but you knew he was the one if he could only develop an aversion to starting bar fights (he won’t, believe you me I’ve tried to play that game). Every sip tasted of regret and settling for suburban mediocrity. What did I get myself into? I quickly tried to trade with my friend but he was wise to my tricks and left me to finish my beer by myself. He did however provide me with valuable feedback on what a better chaser was, bratwurst or kielbasa (bratwurst). I promptly chugged this with a brat chaser and moved on to better brew.

  • Troegs Mad Elf Ale

    I was recently on a trip for my job and one night I decided to pick up a 6 pack of a craft beer that would get me a little buzzed before I passed out alone in my motel room. I had one and only one requirement, I wanted a high ABV because I only wanted 2 or 3 beers. I walked into

    the local beer distributor and saw the typical beers: shock top, blue moon, some random stouts that I never saw before (not a stout fan), natural ice, etc… I was getting disheartened so many beers and none that tickled my fancy for the evening. Then I saw, in all it’s glory, Troegs Mad Elf Ale. It had an ABV of 11%, check! My requirement was met and I was a happy dude. I was going off what the bottle stated and that was that the ale is brewed with honey and cherries and I immediately thought, could this be my cherry beer to replace Sam Adams Cherry Wheat?! As I’ve stated before I LOVE cherry flavor. I immediately purchased the beer, which was supposed to be $16 a six pack. The lady at checkout thought it was a mistake and gave it to me for 8$… WIN!   In retrospect it is actually quite an expensive beer. I could not wait to get back to the hotel and try it.

    According to

    Tröegs Brewing Company, Troegs Mad Elf Ale is:

    “a cheerful creation to warm your heart and enlighten your tongue. The combination of cherries, honey, and chocolate malts delivers gentle fruits and subtle spices. Fermented and aged with a unique yeast, this ruby red beer has significant warming strength that underlies the pleasant character of this intriguing yet delicious Ale.”

    I got back to the hotel grabbed a bottle of this delicious sounding beer, opened it, and took my first sip.

    As I’ve said before I love cherries and cherry flavors. Shirley temples, Maraschino cherries, Grenadine juice, cherry candies, candied cherries, fresh cherries, cherry flavored ice cream, cherry pie, deep fried cherries, ETC!!! I don’t care! I eat or drink any form of cherries and in mass quantities! I love cherries damn it!!!

    Upon first sip my impression was “this is alright”, “not bad”, “I can drink this”, “I can do this”! I didn’t particularly enjoy it but I thought it was drinkable because I knew there was a glorious 11% ABV at the end. Then I took my second swig and holy crap, I realized I did not particularly care for this beer… at all! The best and only way I can describe this beer is like this. Take grenadine syrup, maraschino cherries and juice, pine cones, Christmas scented potpourri, a dash of oregano throw it into a blender and blend the shit out of it, on high! When complete blendation is achieved strain the concoction to the finest degree and throw it into a jar.  Then, after the jarring processes is complete purchase the first plane ticket to Norway, when you land walk to the first animal farm you could find and take a body shot of the mixture off a reindeer’s asshole.

    The spiciness of the beer is what hits your taste buds immediately and strong. The cherry and honey is more mellow and subdued behind the spice flavors. The fact that it was a spicy Belgian beer didn’t seem so prominent on the bottle advertisement, this beer clearly leans heavily towards the spicy side rather than the honey cherry. The herbs and spices definitely overpower the cherries and honey, that is NOT of my liking. The more you drink, the harder it gets to drink, at least for me.  I did however get through 3 of them, but that was mainly because I had set my goal at that. Again, because my taste for beer strays far away from the spicy herbal side I am not fond of Troegs Mad Elf Ale.  If you prefer a spiced up brew with the hint of Christmas then you would enjoy this beer.

  • Blue Point Toasted Lager Review

    Blue Point Toasted Lager Review

    When most beer connoisseurs (elitist hipsters) think of American Style Lager, they think of a light beer that has a flavor profile of watered down bald eagle urine. For most of us, this type of beer is typically the first beer you ever had; and it probably made you wonder why people liked this stuff until you got drunk enough off them to make out with that cute girl from your macroeconomics class (fine, it was her kind of okay looking friend).

    These beers are your Budweisers, Coors, PBR, Natty Ice, etc. They are all cheaply made, mass distributed, and good for few more things than getting drunk on fizzy water, drinking beer from a large bowl you would typically serve a salad in, or getting shithouse drunk (technical term) for the same price as a bottle of water at a a rest stop. Blue Point Toasted Lager from Patchogue, NY (5.5% ABV, distributed by AB-Inbev)  is certainly related to these beers.  It has a stylistic twist which makes it an amber style.

    Copper in color, our most popular and unique brew is made from six different malts, including English Pale, Crystal, Munich, Carapils, Wheat, and Belgian Caravienna. Toasted Lager’s balanced flavor of malt and hops makes for easy drinking and the special lager yeast we use produces an exceptional, long-lasting smooth finish.

    This gives it some actual flavor, mostly a nice toasty malted kind of taste and a really smooth finish so you can easily drink this A.D. (ALL DAY)! I can equate it to waving your Chinese made American flag on the 4th of July (pretty damn American).

    Some say that this beer is overrated, or the “TGI Fridays of craft beer.”  While Blue Point Toasted Lager could be seen as “mainstream,” and is palatable to your drunk uncle Joe, I think that’s a good thing. It’s easily a go-to beer if you’re the type of guy or girl who gets overwhelmed by the taps at a bar and doesn’t want to be the nerd nervously muttering “bud light please” at the bartender.

    Disclaimer: Blue Point Brewery is a short drive from my house, and a company most Long Island beer drinkers have fully embraced. I am proud that both this beer and myself are both born and raised on Long Island so this may be a biased review; but I don’t care and I never will. I take back the disclaimer; This beer is everything I love about this country!

  • Top 8 Beers to Bring to Thanksgiving Dinner

    It’s that wonderful time of year again when we put grievances aside and sit down to stare at our extended families.  Luckily, we have alcohol to ease the pain. If you are anything like my family when you get together for a holiday the drink of choice is probably wine. Most likely a table wine that comes in large quantities for next to nothing so your large family can drink many gallons and not break the bank while they all get blackout like the Pilgrims wanted. However, Fall is a lovely time to drink beer, so lets focus on that instead of “2 buck chuck.”  Don’t worry, we will still get inebriated and guide you through the best Thanksgiving beers.

    Dinner

    1. Sam Adams Boston Lager – This is craft beer 101. You want solid drinkability through your meal with a brew that cuts through the gravy, yams, and green been casserole. This is that kind of beer with its distinct and well-rounded taste of malt and hops.
    2. Blue Point Toasted Lager  – A staple for me and a go to and easy craft beer selection. A brew that even your Budweiser swilling uncle, and Natty Light butt-chugging college freshman cousin will BOTH understand and enjoy. It’s well balanced, and light enough to drink several even though you’re eating 5000 calories in 3 hours.  If you’re in a market that doesn’t have this, substitute with Yuengling Lager. And if you’re in a market that has neither, maybe you should move.
    3. Sam Adams Octoberfest – Let’s face it – this isn’t the best oktoberfest Märzenbier – it’s a little uninspired, and they don’t even spell Oktoberfest right…but it’s roasted and malty, and the first craft beer I really loved.  Yes, it has been technically “out of season” (even though it’s still Fall) for a few weeks and has been replaced by the vastly inferior Winter Lager.  Regardless, you probably have a couple rolling around in the bottom onion drawer of your fridge, so bust em out and bring em on over to Grandma’s.  It can be served during or pre-meal, and it appeals to a broad audience.
    4. Magners Irish Cider – Fine, it’s not really a beer, but you’re just plain wrong if you don’t think this is necessary on Thanksgiving.  Apple cider is going to be on the table anyway.  So bring a hard cider and move up from the kiddy table.  For a real treat, mix the nice dry finish of Magners in a pitcher with regular apple cider, and cinnamon whiskey.  Then tell your children to drink it so they shut their mouths and go to sleep.  Kidding.  Drink responsibly
    5. Woodchuck Fall Harvest – Okay, I know what you’re thinking another cider.  As previously stated about Magners and I will reiterate, tThanksgiving is the heart of cider season. If you could put the taste of fall in a bottle this drink would take the cake. I remember my first sip years ago, it was as though I literally took a drink of fall, minus the rotting leaf mid-palate. Quite amazing  – a must try for this time of year. Don’t plan on drinking too many, they are quite filling, just like the meal itself.

    Dessert

    1. Stone Smoked Vanilla Porter – Vanilla, chocolate, coffee, and a great smoke finish.  What’s not to like?  No flastonevanillavor is overpowering.  Although a lot of BL smoothie drinkers are gonna avoid anything labeled stout, I would describe the body and flavor as light, if that makes sense.  This is gonna pair great with your apple pies, pumpkin pies, and chocolate chip cookies.
    2. Boulder Shake Chocolate Porter – Another dessert beer, but this time it’s one that screams of a classic soda shop egg cream.  Great paired with something nutty or caramelly (like Pecan Pie) to really bring dessert home.
    3. Shipyard Smashed Pumpkin Ale – This will save your “Friendsgiving” if some jagoff decides to “forget the pumpkin pie.” It’s basically liquefied pumpkin pie that gets you drunk real fast with its 9% ABV. It’s a brew even the Native Americans we destroyed w/small pox can appreciate this holiday.
  • Sam Adams Cherry Wheat

    Sam Adams Cherry Wheat

    Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat, by the Boston Beer Company.  You don’t get a name that sounds more American than that.  Since America is GREATEST COUNTRY IN WORLD, you would expect this beer to be greatest beer in world.  You have Samuel Adams, one of the founding fathers whose name is etched in the pillars of American history.  Then there are the cherries.  I guess they have that in Europe….. so you are definitely wondering how the hell cherries are American.  Well, they aren’t… but we make a ton of them here in the states.  Also, George Washington is arguably the most American bastard there is, and he cut down cherry trees as a kid simply for shits and giggles.  Therefore, cherry = American.  Then he did the most non-American thing ever… he told the truth… BAD BEAT WASHINGTON! Lastly there’s wheat, and that’s one of America’s biggest products from the Mid-West. So that is by default ‘Merica. So let’s get ready for something awesome like a star spangled cherry rocket blazing across the sky with fruity patriotism.  Wrong.

    Weighing in at a sessionable 5.30%, you can unquestionably taste the full burst of cherries, but it comes on a little strong.  It’s comparable to your job performance right before you ask for a raise.  VERY OBVIOUS.  Then immediately, almost too quickly, while you are still trying to savor that delectable cherriness you are hit by the  taste of cough syrup. Not an overwhelming flavor, and not in the same viscosity, but enough to make you start second guessing Sam Adams Cherry Wheat.  As the drinking progresses, you become immune to that cough syrup tinge; and the full bodied cherry flavor becomes more dominant as the brew starts to become somewhat enjoyable again. Not the best beer in the world, but you could certainly do much worse.  The problem is that this is an alleged craft brewery, pumping out gallons of this stuff a day for years and years.  You would expect them to nail it.  This beer might be the sole reason your typical beer snobs won’t even touch anything by the Boston Beer Company.

    Sam Adams claims that there is a hint of honey and if I hadn’t read this I don’t think I would have known that honey was involved in this recipe at all. My recommendation to make this beer a home run would be to bring down the cherry flavor and increase the honey. That would lead to a nicer, more balanced beer that we, the people, would beg for more of.  Not that they asked.  Nonetheless, I still enjoy this beer enough to recommend a taste, but it is overly sweet and may not be for everyone.

  • Oude Gueuze Tilquin A L’ancienne

    Oude Gueuze Tilquin A L’ancienne

    Gueuze Tilquin comes in a corked bottle, priced at $11 for 12.7fl oz.  That is almost  $1/ounce. This must be the beer version of platinum that you can actually price it per ounce. I popped the cork…. and it was louder than any champagne I’ve ever had in my life; like a warning shot fired to protect my valuables that I did not heed. Beer flowed rapidly from the bottle all all over my table and into my phone.  Ugh, well, that went about as well as planned.  Definitely lost a good dollar or two of beer in that.  I think it’s pretty safe to say this is extremely carbonated in the bottle.

    After that crisis unfolded, everything was cleaned up, phones were put in rice, some minor crying, etc. I finally got to pour what remained in the bottle into my pint glass.  Yea, I know it’s the wrong glass; but I don’t care.  The carbonation seems to have settled to normal. The color is golden cloudy and the head has decent retention.  As I went to get a good whiff, my nose went into the beer.  Like actually dove in. Mistake number 2 in my amateur hour rendition of a beer tasting and I have yet to even drink.  The smell is great… I don’t know what it is though.  I definitely pick up some funk mixed with fruity citrusy notes.  It is also reminiscent of the smell of a college bar where everything is wood and it is infused with years and years of beer and they just tried to use some pledge so you know they at least tried to clean it.  The taste is sour up front… like champagne infused with sour lemon warhead (which is the weirdest mimosa variant of all time, but surprisingly not too bad).  The aftertaste is dry and reminiscent of many of the ciders I drink.  As it sits in your mouth it is clearly sour, but it really hits you at the back of the mouth and doesn’t come into full effect until you swallow.  HOLY CRAP THIS IS SOUR.  This is my first sour beer so I have nothing to compare it to, so let me tell you what I do know.

    According to the bottle, it is a blend of 1, 2, and 3 year old lambics.  For those of you who don’t know, lambics are produced by spontaneous fermentation.  That basically means random yeast and bacteria and whatnot get into the beer, giving it a very funky taste.  I’m not sure how this style got started a thousand years ago, but I’d bet someone was definitely being lazy.  Anyway, Gueuze Tilquin is unfiltered and unpasteurized, and refermented in bottle.  The ingredients are water, malt, wheat, hops.  Oh and random crap flying around in the air.  Pretty basic.  At 6.4% ABV, it comes from Belgium and is apparently best before February 2, 2024. That’s not a long time, or an oddly specific date. or anything like that. Let’s ignore the trends of other long lasting products such as batteries to put simply the month and year; these people actually have the gall to put an exact date 10 years in the future.  Like it’s going to suck on Februrary 3, 2024 but still be excellent on the 2nd? I totally believe you.

    The bottle says “2013” and “2014” on the top label.  I guess that means even they have no idea when they bottled this?  I’m not sure and my beer expertise may be failing us all here, but this is my introduction to sour farmhouse lambic things; maybe this is all par for the course for the farmhouse lambic style though? The website claims this brew is “accessible” to the non-expert, but I am having a problem finishing it. So not only am I not an expert, I’m not even as good as a non-expert. Talk about an ego boost. I would recommend trying it at least once for the uninitiated, if you can finish it then you’re more of a man than me.  Just like a sour warhead, and your depraved fantasies, it hurts in a good way.