I went to one of my very favorite places in my area a few weeks ago before it was this cold, icy hell outside; Astoria’s very own Czech beer garden, the Bohemian Hall. It’s a great place to hang with friends at long picnic tables, eat some smoked meats and most importantly; drink your faces off of your face.
I started my night by eye balling the taps for a beer I never had before and I found one; a Czech beer called Krusovice Imperial Lager. Coming in at 5%, it is brewed by Královský Pivovar Krušovice a.s., Czech Republic.
I’m not one to prepare for drinking by googling first, it’s beer and it’s past 5pm on Friday; so let’s just do this thing already. It came in a mug fit for Czech royalty and had a lovely golden hue to match (Fun fact: this beer was originally brewed for An emperor and features the imperial royal crown of Austria. Also, 80% of fun facts are not actually fun). I take a sip and feel completely underwhelmed. I got tricked big time. It has a taste that is pretty boring, that common European taste with that slight skunk kick at the back end of the finish. Actually, it tastes a lot like St. Pauli’s Girl or Heineken. Like way too much… like if you’re a 40 year old man and want to feel fancy without missing your shitty polo tucked into your cargo shorts; drink this beer (get it? Heineken is the official beer of boring dads). I was NOT feeling this at all though. Also, I’m not clear exactly what the rules are for putting “Imperial” in your beer name, but I’m fairly certain a 5% lager is not “imperial” in any way.
I kept drinking, praying that it would change; not too much unlike that time you fell hard for the “bad boy” your father would never approve of but you knew he was the one if he could only develop an aversion to starting bar fights (he won’t, believe you me I’ve tried to play that game). Every sip tasted of regret and settling for suburban mediocrity. What did I get myself into? I quickly tried to trade with my friend but he was wise to my tricks and left me to finish my beer by myself. He did however provide me with valuable feedback on what a better chaser was, bratwurst or kielbasa (bratwurst). I promptly chugged this with a brat chaser and moved on to better brew.